Is there more "evil" than "good" in the world?

I don’t know if I should call it bad luck or fate or something is wrong with me; life has bumped me more than enough with people or so-called friends who turned to be true hypocrites and perfect pretenders that they can’t cease to perceive their own deception, people who lie with sincerity. Sometimes I say to myself I just have to learn to forget about people who forget about me and that not everyone in life is going to stay true, yet it’s not easy to pass it without holding bitter feelings, it’s the worst feeling in the world knowing you are used or lied to. Unfortunately, most people nowadays find it hard to learn how to love people and use things instead of using people and loving things. I found out that many people hate with honestly and feel good about themselves and their lives only when they lie, but when I shared my true actions and feelings with theirs that’s when I watched how they faded away and eventually unveiled how fake they are. Fake people are only nice when it's convenient for them, while genuinely nice people go out of their way to help others and then they are called naïve or even stupid! Although many people unexpectedly turned their backs on me, that shall never stoop me down to their level, I know I will be alright as long as I remember to always be myself and get on with my life. I've been walked on, used and forgotten and I don't regret one moment of it because in those moments, I've learned a lot. I've learned who I can trust and can't. I've learned the meaning of friendship. I've learned how to tell when people are lying and when they're sincere. I've also been to hell and back a few times, and I won't ever take what I have for granted. Life is too short to wake up with regrets. I love the people who treat me right, I forget about the ones who don't and I believe things happen for a reason and if it was meant to be It wouldn’t have happened, a reason that can ultimately change my whole life with a better off one. Many people touched my life in different ways; some came just for a while, others stayed there for a season and then left, but I still don’t know who would stay there forever to be finally the ones that count in my life. No matter what happens, I'm going to make it, because I have the greatest mother and siblings one can ever dream to have in life, with them I found the brightest hope and the greatest advice and guidance, and for that I thank Allah.

A very big part of my life is filled with huge amount of sadness and I don’t know when it will be all gone. I'm not happy, I won’t fake it, but I will deal with it, for I've been through backstabbers, scumbags and lies. I got a whole list of different types of bad people I met in my life. Well, nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it. I will have to live it one day at a time, and because I never know how many days I’ve got left I will never give up on kindness, because I truly believe NO act of kindness, however small, is ever wasted; this is me surviving against the evil and pain in my life. 

For some people there is more evil than good to life, and for others more good than evil;  I believe that life is a combination of evil, good, folly, and wisdom.  

Sometimes I feel most of my life is only about pain and evil and I always expect it to be there, because I honestly can’t remember a time in my life when it wasn’t. But then I say to myself ‘’Al- Hamdul Li Allah’’ for everything, there are others whose life is much worse than mine. One day I will feel something else. Something that feels wrong only because it’s so unfamiliar, and in that moment I will realize I am happy. 

''If you make intense supplication and the timing of the answer is delayed, do not despair of it. Allah reply to you is guaranteed; but in the way Allah chooses, not the way you choose, and at the moment Allah desires, not the moment you desire.''

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"A calamity that makes you turn to Allah is better for you than a blessing which makes you forget the remembrance of Allah."  

-Shaykh Ibn Taymiyyah- 

Written on 11/9/2011

by Nafissa Abdul Salam Mohammed Othman Assed.
( نفيسة عبد السلام محمد عثمان الصيد)